On Beauty and Women

Okay, I’m a guy. I don’t get it. I’m close; but really, I don’t get it. Let me explain. I came up with, what I thought was, a fairly nice movie plot. In it, an evil witch avoids death by body swapping with her attractive young apprentices. One of her smarter apprentices doesn’t trust the witch, but “tests” the spell—locking herself out of her own body. Enter heroes, sword fights, lots of daring do—and in the end the hero gets his girl back –but she is in the other apprentice’s body. I even made it fair! The other apprentice gets the first girls body and her own beau. And they all live happily ever after.

I thought I had made a pretty romantic tale. A man proves his love for his girl—loving her even though he thought she was dead; loving her, even when she moves into another body. It is HER he loves. Not her looks, not her beauty—HER! For crying out loud, it’s supposed to be romantic! Then the other apprentice gets a guy who is interested in her! Not her looks, Her! AND both guys tell their girl when she is in her new body-they totally think she’s hot! So I tell my little tale in a car drive in Colorado. I think it’s romantic.

I was wrong.

Both ladies in the car are like “Nope, won’t work.” Both of my poor heroines will be spending the rest of their days wondering if her man really loves her or that other one. Ouch. But looks aren’t what is supposed to be important so… “Nope, won’t work.” Hmm, I need to do some thinking about this interesting creature called woman.

Okay, yes, I agree God doesn’t make junk and women are pretty. Some a beautiful and some are able to reduce otherwise cogent men into mumbling fools. I get that; I’m totally NOT unintelligent in that regard. But, hey, beauty is only skin deep and all beauty fades in time and it’s what is on the inside that counts: that’s what’s really important, right? 

 YES! And No. Ah, don’t you just love clear answers. Get used to it men, women are an enigma. But a solvable one.

No, beauty is not what really counts, but don’t go thinking it doesn’t count either. According to Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn’s book For Men Only, women have this inner worry about their looks. They describe it as a little girl asking her daddy if she’s pretty. Women apparently want to hear and want to know that their significant other thinks she’s pretty.

So when my heroine switched bodies, she really would have this constant nagging child telling her, “He doesn’t love you, he loves that other lady.” And of course, your really can’t end a fair tale with, “and she was an emotionally tormented basket case for the rest of her life.” So any woman would look at my fairy tale and say “NOPE!”  

Hmm. Interesting. I’ve got a wonderful little romantic fairy tale all women would really hate. I bet there are men who would pay extra to see a romantic flick their wives are retching at. And it has sword fighting! I see a market niche! Hmmm.

I guess a better thing is to tell all you men out their with a significant other. I really didn’t know it was so big a deal, but it is. Hey, guys, women need to hear their beautiful—you think she is. So tell her!   

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

This week, at the library, I was confronted with a rather interesting question by some bleeding heart’s bumper sticker. It asked “Who would Jesus bomb?” I got the feeling that this person would say “no one” but I don’t agree. Not that my opinion is anymore valid than that of the average bumper sticker owner’s opinion. It isn’t a matter of opinion, but the facts of the Bible.
First of all the Bible is clear, Jesus and God are not “respecters of persons.” (Acts 10:35, Ro. 2:11, 1 Peter 1:17) They do not have favorites but treat everyone justly. Even God’s chosen people the Jews weren’t exempt from God’s judgment. He brought the Assyrians and Babylonians against them—they were destroyed with severe judgment.
Of course, if a person’s view of Jesus is a pusillanimous, pacifistic sentimentalist then this news of Jesus’ totally righteous judgment is shocking. They will bring up their “go to” complaint that “A loving God would never…”
However, the Bible is also clear about judgment. God and Jesus are not going to let anyone get away with anything! Jesus, in Luke 13, talking about some violent deaths that had shocked the community, said that unless we repent, we will all perish. The fact that repentance is available is proof of Jesus’ love, but the fact of judgment proves His holiness. In Revelation, Jesus is the one that will destroy the nations with the “sword from His mouth.” (Rev. 19) The people in the tribulation are fleeing for their lives from the “wrath of the Lamb.” (Rev. 16:6) Jesus will judge. Jesus will punish. Jesus will kill. His judgment will be so terrible that the people of earth will wish He would only bomb them.
Let us never forget that Jesus Christ is not only loving and merciful, but also just and holy. The answer to the bumper sticker’s question is scarily enough “EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T REPENT.” Flee the wrath to come, run to Jesus, repent, be made new; or, friend, there is a bomb in heaven waiting to bomb you.